I had already began a job search, but I’m not terribly pleased that the timetable has been accelerated on me. I have several good leads, so hopefully my unemployment is a very temporary situation. It looks like I will be spending the next few weeks job searching and trying to get all my money from the firm, as it already looks like they are going to try and screw me out of about $5500.00 in company matches to my 401k that either have not vested or are not due to be awarded until next February (our firm does company matches as a lump sum rather than as employee contributions are made).

So it looks like my time in Big 4 public accounting has come to an end. On a lighter note, here is a listing of the ways in which being an accountant is like being a prostitute (hence the blog title):

1. You work very odd hours.
2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.
4. You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.
5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.
6. You are not proud of what you do.
7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
8. It’s difficult to have a family.
9. You have no job satisfaction.
10. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.
11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.
12. People ask you, “What do you do?” and you can’t explain it.
13. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.
15. Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.
16. Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.
17. You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it’s not your problem.
18. When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).
19. You are rated on your “performance” in an excruciating ordeal.
20. Even though you get paid the big bucks, it’s the client who walks away smiling.
21. The client always thinks your “cut” of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.
22. When you deduct your “take” from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.